Monday, February 19, 2007

Awesome Super Exciting Man Silences Critic

It's always nice chatting with old friends. More so if you haven't spoken for some time. And so it was when I spoke with Curly[1] the other night. Amid exchanging pleasantries, reminiscing of the good ol' days, and discussing the ethics of sophistry, I decided to take a potshot at his newly acquired corpulence.

"You, old chum, are fat ", I told him.
"Oh, that's all right", he replied. "For you, mate, are boring".

This riposte, as you might very well expect, took me by surprise. I gasped. I reeled. I shook a fist in the general direction of Connecticut. Finally, I got a hold of myself, cleared my throat and registered my protest.

"What! Me, boring? How could you even insinuate such canard. Even the mere thought is preposterous. Me -- the sheer epitome of brinksmanship, the man who once single-handedly recounted the seventeen different types of grain in his diet -- boring? To claim that I am boring is like saying a quadrilateral is non-Euclidean. Like saying that a quasar is a dwarf planet. Like, ummm... who was that guy with the pot... pay-meth-something, Epimetheus, yes. It's like saying that Epimetheus was a genius. It is, in fact, the very opposite of a tautology. It is a fallacy. Yes, that's what it is. A fallacy."

Curly sounded unapologetic. "I'm sorry. You were saying something? I must have nodded off."

People can be so insensitive at times. Especially fat people.

[1] Name changed to protect Vinod’s identity.


At February 20, 2007 at 11:04 AM, Blogger Vinod said...

You might be boring, but you have an amazing sense of humor and great writing skills. I am sorry dude if I hurt yor feelings.

At February 20, 2007 at 11:53 AM, Blogger Raoul said...

Are you mocking me again, fat man? I'm warning you, the retribution next time will be nothing short of brutal. I might even write a poem.

At February 20, 2007 at 2:20 PM, Blogger Soumya said...

A poem - like " J shuffles his pen"! - now thats what I call a real threat... :)

At February 21, 2007 at 7:39 PM, Blogger beoda said...

Raoul dropped some words
from way up high,
and it bounced all over the place;

Some of them were interesting,
and some made people sigh,
and others had them in a daze;

Some pondered - or didn't
but still did reply,
And they did me amaze;

For never did I think
There was any braver than I,
To step in Raouli's wordy maze!!!


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