Who Is Responsible?

The Woolmer tragedy still has me all riled up. I am sad. I am confused. And more than anything, I am incensed. I need someone to vent all my pent-up anger at. I need to find who is responsible for this mess. This completely avoidable tragedy.

One could perhaps blame the fans. But that would mean I would partake the blame too. And I just cannot bring myself to do that. No, that can't be it. Next, I turn to the Pakistan team. Surely, the captain bears the brunt of the team's failure. But putting any more guilt on Inzamam's shoulders wouldn't be right either. He has gone through much strife the last few months, and will now have to not only take the blame for the team's dismal performance and face the wrath of irate fans, but also carry the burden of his coach's death. I just hope the media leave him alone. Inzy is famously staid, and a giant of a man, but even giants have their breaking point.

But the blame has to be affixed to someone. And as I sit down and think about it with my famous level-headed coolness (or is it cool-headed levelness?), it comes to me, as clear as day. This is all Stuart Matsikenyeri's fault. Had Matsikenyeri not missed the last ball in Zimbabwe's game against Ireland, his team would have won, Pakistan would still have the chance to qualify for the next round, and Bob Woolmer would still be alive. If you have to blame someone for this tragedy, it would have to be the irredeemable Matsikenyeri. Off with his head, I say.

Which brings us to the next question: who then is responsible for India's inexplicable loss to Bangladesh? The press, in all their haste are drawing out swords against Dravid for choosing to bat on winning the toss. But if the Matsikenyeri affair has taught us anything it is to always get to the source of the problem. In this case, the question to ask would be: Who is to blame for winning the toss in the first place? Tricky question at the face of it, but with a little investigation, it is not hard to trace the culpable. It is none other than that old rodent-riding demi-pachyderm, Ganesha at it again.

NDTV reports that there has been a special Ganesha temple established in Chennai to help the Indian team, and "[w]hile India's success in the World Cup will hinge on what Rahul Dravid and his men do on the field, visitors to the temple hope this will at least help India with the toss".

That settles it for me. I am off to my local Ganesha temple to indulge in some vandalising. You are welcome to join. But please bring your own Ganesha effigies.