The Greatest Albums of All Time

My friend Puneet informs me that Time magazine has released a list of the all-time top 100 albums, and it doesn't include a single Pink Floyd album. Needless to say he was appalled. I wanted to be appalled as well, but frankly, I didn't really care. What with a new list being published every second week telling us about the greatest songs of all time, the greatest bands, the greatest rap videos featuring Pharrell Williams... you get the idea.

What I want to know is who defines the criteria for this 'greatness'. Seriously, any bunch of half-wit, self-proclaimed experts can sit on their collective butt and come up with a list of 'great' albums. I could perhaps understand if they based their opinion on tangible evidence, like number of albums sold, but there is no way you can convince me that The College Dropout is a better album than Thick as a Brick just because some snot-faced expert thought so.

In fact, even with all the hard facts and figures in the world, you wouldn't be able to convince me. For music, like most art, is intangible. What may be the truest symphony for one could be utter noise for someone else. To quantify art is futile, quite simply because everyone has their own set of aesthetics; their own notion of greatness. That's how it should be. And that is exactly what makes lists like this completely meaningless.

Just to drive in an already overdriven point, I shall now publish my very own list of the greatest albums of all time. To paraphrase Adam Savage, I shall reject their reality and substitute my own. And since I have neither the patience, nor the inclination to rate a hundred albums, I shall restrict this most exalted list to five. So, here it is. In all it's glory. The five greatest albums that were ever released:

1. Piper at the Gates of Dawn, Pink Floyd
2. Painkiller, Judas Priest
3. Piece of Mind, Iron Maiden
4. Rust in Peace, Megadeth
5. In Rock, Deep Purple

So there.