Good News, Everyone

I got back home from work last night to find a note in my apartment. "GOOD NEWS!", it said, in big bold capital letters. "Our Maintenance Technicians were in your home today to conduct our routine Preventive Maintenance Inspection. Thank you for allowing us to serve you! Signed, The Maintenance Department."

I must confess, I was a bit stumped. I would have understood it if during inspection they had accidently stumbled upon a lump of gold behind the refrigerator. Or perhaps found the brown sock that's been conspicuously missing since September. But how does performing routine preventive maintenance constitute good news? Honestly, I didn't get it.

But I let it pass. I deemed it best not to dwell upon such imponderables, and get on with my life. Or the remainder of the evening in this case. I fixed myself dinner, watched the telly for a bit, and after a while decided to turn in for the night. Ergo, I got up from the couch, turned off the light, and walked through the hallway, dragging the door shut behind me. Only somehow, I missed.

"That's odd", I considered. "I've never missed the door before." Still, I didn't put too much thought into it, and tried again. To my surprise, I missed again. Perplexed, I flicked on the light switch to unravel the mystery. Lo and behold! The door had plain vanished. Where there used to be a fully functional door in the hallway now remained just a couple of hinges. Like the ugly stump of a once magnificent tree.

Then it struck me. "A-ha!" I thought to myself. This must be the good news that they were trying to warn me about. And by routine preventive maintenance, they must have meant uprooting the door in the hall. Surely, they must have reckoned that the door posed a safety hazard. What if I accidently walked into the door and bumped my head? Or worse still, my nose? No, but they took care of it. They had prevented any future injury by removing the offending door itself from the hallway. Yes, it all made perfect sense now. There remained, however, just one problem.

I still don't get it.